Smurfing Christmas

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Smurfing Christmas

Postby Don_Smurf » Thu Dec 24, 2009 11:34 pm

A Smurfing Merry Christmas,
and best wishes for Smurfing health, Smurfing happiness and Smurfing prosperity in the Smurfing New Year


Hope the following keep you smiling

THE ANNUAL DARWIN AWARDS
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.


Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also
lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients
were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception
wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying
to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was
hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it
over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store
window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of
the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 AM., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered
onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the
motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined
to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends
and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a
distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are
distant and hope they remain lost.



*** Remember.... They walk among us!!!*** And They Breed !!! And they
vote!!!
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Re: Smurfing Christmas

Postby ManiaSmurf » Fri Dec 25, 2009 12:56 am

Haha awesome, merry xmas to all!
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Re: Smurfing Christmas

Postby Rampant Smurf » Fri Dec 25, 2009 11:37 am

lol brian, very good, have a great christmas all, love you loads, as always :)))))))))))))
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Re: Smurfing Christmas

Postby untraceable » Fri Dec 25, 2009 12:11 pm

very good and have a great smurfie christmas
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Re: Smurfing Christmas

Postby lucycp26@hotmail.co.uk » Fri Dec 25, 2009 9:01 pm

merry xmas guys hope you all have a good one


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